I am all for living a lie, Maybe..

The worst thing about the world is how it eventually destroys all the good things in you...well, at least almost... 

As a kid, we had this weird obsession about growing up... being independent (duh...aren't you married?)...being able to make our own decisions and play the game by the rules we set (Guess how it turned out living in a world driven by social acceptance)... making the big bucks (to pay off the mortgage and student loans, of course)... to be respected and to be heard (well, self- doubt and lower self-esteem turned to be a killer, right?).. to indulge in the seven sins (can't complain here... long live Old Monk)...

Anyone can relate to what I am saying? Now, how many of you find yourself constantly going into nostalgia mode and hold on to the pieces of your childhood like treasures.. May be watching mowgli on the loop.. scrounging for the pictures from the 90's with those bubbly faces and flat tummies... Any of you does that? Now, punch yourself in the face and say my name three times.. What the hell were we thinking? 

If you really look at it, we wanted to be grownups in the world we saw as kids.. not in the adult world.. We probably didn't realize that as we grow up, the context and perspective of what the world  is, keep changing, for the worse.. The adult world is very demanding on all fronts - cruel, shallow, less human, more materialistic and worse of all, a master in making people fall in line.. For most of us, we do fall in line eventually.. As we keep getting hit by the curve balls life throws at us, we lose a little more of our innocence and fall in line to join the pack... All those awesome things we were born with such as dreams, curiosity, unfounded joy, unexpecting love, sharing, imagination.. one by one we surrender them to our master..

But, that's not the worst part, right? we actually stop believing in them.. I, for one, am guilty of "Been there, done that, lost it, was foolish, Move on" attitude.. And we start judging other people the same way.. Even if someone does exhibit some of these qualities, we are like "It's only a matter of time before he/she loses it because real world is not that way".. and one by one, we make more people into minions for the master..  As Harvey Dent rightly put it "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain"..

Here comes out the introspective TC.. As a consultant who gets by using "Fake it till you Make it" tagline, it has dawned on me that life is probably no different either.. If we lose it and we know it and we yearn for it, why not fake it? Why not live a lie? Why not delude ourselves that we are still in command of all those qualities? Why not believe that we are still innocent and not totally barren of all those things that we once had? Why not believe in love again? or trust and friendship? Why not ditch the "survival of fittest" theory in life and bet once again on equality instead?

We have no issue masking our true intentions to others in our professional and personal lives just to get by, to save the job, the marriage, the relationships.. We often put up a mask and are not truthful to what we feel or what we believe, so that we may not hurt others..So, why would it be a bother to fool ourselves? Isn't it worth the chance to actually turn into the being we want to be? 

Well, it is not necessary that our actions need to always reflect our thoughts.. We could still be the crazy bitch/bastard that we are.. but, maybe and just maybe we become our old self and actually do wield these qualities, just for a brief moment..maybe once in a year.. and maybe it gets better over time.. and maybe we do start seeing the light at the end of tunnel.. Isn't it worth the probability, however small it might be?. Maybe, our light reflects on others and for just a moment, this world could very well be how the creator intended it to be..

Over-emphasis on truth is definitely appealing but any third grade philosopher can point out there is no absolute truth. We all live in our comfort zone founded upon comfortable and more importantly, relative truths, be it on ethical, moral or personal domains that guide our conscience.. I wonder about the validity and existence of such truths, if they only serve as chains dragging us down to the depths.. In Mein Kampf, Hitler coined a term "Big Lie", which served as a propaganda tool for his anti-Semitic policies. It goes like this - "If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will even come to believe it yourself". Although there is no question around the atrocities committed by this particular human being, the effectiveness of this technique was proved right by the indisputable popularity enjoyed by Hitler among his fellow citizens.. Same goes for Japanese empire during world war 2. Once again, I seem to wonder why this wouldn’t be applicable on a positive way.

One of the great philosophers of our modern times, Robert Downing Jr, drives the same point home when he says "Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk". Maybe, sometimes we need to pretend to be someone we are not to be someone we want to be.. Maybe, sometimes we need to unlearn our lessons to be able to live by example.. Maybe, sometimes we need to forego some of our mental maturity for happy heart.. and maybe it's for the greater good.. 

As Nietzsche rightly put it, "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.".. With little imagination, the abyss might turn into Eden and the monster that resides in us, is lost in time.

So, Amigos.. Let's not be afraid of a little lie..  

Make a Wish...................

Be Careful what you wish for,as it can come True..How True?How True?

Failure is not an option- It must be a Compulsion

To Fail with grace and put up with the world is such an art that there are fewer practitioners for it,with every passing day...

The sweet taste of success..... The Never-ending appetite for glories...Well, everyone likes success..It feels so happy to succeed... To be in limelight and to feel that you are significant is so, shall i say,wonderful?..Well, this post is about the other side of the coin...FAILURE.

Isn't it nice to fail? Don't we all fail sometimes, purposefully?.....

I have often wondered why is that we glorify success so much and neglect the failure component? yep, i know it sounds kind of absurd, but still... The only reason i find success to be more popular than its rival is because of social-acceptance. Society accepts success and so it is most sought for...If there exists a defeatist society, then all losers will be hailed as heroes and success will be ridiculed..(may be in that context, success and failure just alternate, which is not something i am arguing for).. So, ultimately it all comes to Social Recognition.. It is not about the love of success...We love success because the world wants us to... The keen to succeed is something which we impose on our self,in my personal opinion... It's a driving force,may be, so that we keep interested in life... to feel motivated and kept occupied through out life..But sometimes, it does destroys some precious moments,which I hope you quite agree..

If it's all about social agreement and ppl say it's OK to strive hard for success cos society does so, well, i don't mind being called an heretic..but What the ....? When certain things are admissible even though society doesn't favors it,i am pretty much dogmatic about being in the Non-Aligned Movement...

When i do some introspection, i find that if my parents had been more lenient about my success n failures ,not chiding for getting second rank in schools..... and not tempting me with an allowance of one whole hour of computer games if i get the first rank, probably i would be where i am right now.. but, i would have learnt to appreciate failure too.., i think.. After all, if we embrace failure,what worse can happen to us?

Come On guys, What can Success give you apart from an increased ego, surreal joy till next failure and a subtle sense of significance ? When was the last time we reveled in failure? After all, we have had a number of forwards about failure being the precursor of success...What failure can do to your soul, success cant even put up a good act against it..

If it's all about fear of failure, of being ridiculed and dis-linked from society, shouldn't we learn to get over our fears????????

Resigning to defeat might make life less interesting... but at least..OK, I'll settle for treating success and failure equally..It is not asking too much...

Reiterating wat i ve said, To Fail with grace and put up with the world is such an art that there are fewer practitioners for it,with every passing day...

So, happy failing.... Be the loser.....


Failure fascinates......... Success Sucks.......

Really, It's nothing....

It is very lonely out here... not a living soul... except for the occasional howlings of stray dogs and "idhu chala hot guru" radio waves from a faraway tea stall,it's vacuum here .....It's like i am will smith and inside "I am a legend" ...(Ya..that's right dude..i am a legend..Ave TC)... the last of bipedal supposedly-not-so-primitive biological species of earth..In case you like to know the plot, It's now 4 am in the morning and i am yet to join my girl, in dreamland.... After fighting so hard and so long(read as '5 hours') to sleep, I have given up and resigned to do what i am good at:cogitate over things from a trans-metaphysical(????) perspective(Coming to that,do u know perspective can also be termed as banana,dosa,maggi etc?..well,that's for another blog) .So,right now, this blog is my saviour to kill time where i can post my crap for all to see(uh..gross)..

My thoughts started with 'loneliness', journeying thru 'emptiness',finally ending with 'voidness'.So,that's what i am going to ponder about-nothing.I ve been thinking along these lines for quite some time....The nothingness which prevails over everything.... If one had come across zen philosophies(btw,i ve become a kind of zen fanatic in recent times..So,girls watch out...gift me a Zen book and i am yours all night),we can find a number of references about nothing.Nothingness(sunyata in Zen-similar to suniyam in tamil) forms the heart of zen where everything is perceived as nothing.Let's take a zen koan as example...

A monk asked Chao-chou, "Has the dog Buddha nature or not?" Chao-chou said, "Mu." (Mu in chinese is nothing)..

Take another one...

WHEN Yamaoka was a brash young student, he visited the master Dokuon. Wanting to impress the master, he said:

"There is no mind, there is no body, there is no Buddha. There is no better, there is no worse. There is no master and there is no student; there is no giving, there is no receiving. What we think we see and feel is not real. All that is real is Emptiness. None of these seeming things really exists."

Dokuon had been sitting quietly smoking his pipe, and saying nothing. Now he picked up his staff, and without warning gave Yamaoka a terrible whack. Yamaoka jumped up in anger.

"Since none of these things really exists," said Dokuon, "and all is Emptiness, where does your anger come from? Think about it."

Ya..They do sound crazy..but,that's wat koans are.. crazy puzzles to solve.. No one explains them..there is no answer to them..Each one sees them in their own view.. For some,they are blabberings of a drunkard..For some,they are fancy good-for-bumper-stickers-anecdotes which a fool might quote in his blog..But,to me personally,they reveal a lot about this Great Void...

Let's not astray into philosophical path and let's discuss it in a normal way..I ve presented my thoughts in form of question and answers

Does everyone feel empty,sometimes?not in the sense of sorrow,but just a feel they are a part of nothing?

A: I doubt.. Feeling a part of nothing,sounds a little sorrowful,even now..It has a traditional negative tag attached to it...at least in our culture..Many religions teach us that we should feel as if we are a part of the universe and everything in it and vice versa..that we are all connected... those kind of stuff..But, i ve seldom heard preachings about identifying oneself with Voidness.....The emptiness, in a sorrow context, can be something which everyone might be well acquainted with..but,the positive aspect of it, i really doubt....

How it might feel to embrace nothing?

A:Absolutely no idea.. I tried searching for this thing,but couldn't find any... But, obviously i don't think anyone would have maintained chronicles about their wisdom of nothing(probably this is the first :))... But, when i imagine how it might be, it appears that we might not feel anything about this embrace... Neither will we feel joy over our ultimate discovery of supreme truth nor will we be sad since we now have nothing within us... Life will be as it had been always... One wont even care about this acceptance..But, the way we look @ thing will def change... No positive thinking and no negative thinking..no optimism and no pessimism.Say No to both 'Yes' n 'No'... :)...

If there is no change cos of acceptance of nothing, what point does it make to accept it? I might very well dissuade and be my own, as before?

A:Exactly.That's the point, i was trying to make.. You accept or not, nothing will change.. Take some philosophy.. For Example, "Treat others as you want them to treat you".. Some might agree here..others might not..But, if you accept this stmt is right,then you will proceed to make some changes in your lifestyle so as to accommodate this philosophy.. try to become a follower of this statement(truth,philosophy..watever).. That changes something in you.. So, everytime u accept something and bring it into your life, we keep changing...Ultimately, every philosophy's aim is to make to follow something .. to lead you to a new path(might be good .. might be bad...)..But, the concept of nothing doesn't make you do it...You as as before..nothing changes(well,not exactly..but in a abstract sense,yeah..)

Aren't these kind of arguments just a way to prove one's point that acceptance of nothing is good? Many of them sounds crazy.It might be a philosophy worth nothing..

A:Well, it might be..I just trying to point out that the value of 'nothing' is very underestimated.... It might be both worthless and priceless...

Will it not preserve our spirit that we may live as we choose and free from bonds of fear? Or Will it banish us to a imaginary world,void of emotions and unfit for human life?

A:For this,i would really like to support the first part..But, i am not sure of that yet.. i have my apprehensions about that.. May be the final stage of nothingness will do more good than evil...But, guys, i am not oracle(actually i work in sql server :)) ....not able to look that far into the future.. But, why not try it out?

Are you still a virgin?

A:Well,it's hard to say...

So, sometimes, when u are free enuf(Software Professionals,read as:Monday to Friday 9.00 to 6.00 when you @ work), give some thoughts abt this voidness.. May be we can create an orkut group and discuss ant nothing..

As it is with my first post, If any you found this post as irrelevant and absoultely stupid,well Archimedes did run naked.........

To be or Not To be...

To live as gently as I can;
To be, no matter where, a man;
To take what comes of good or ill
And cling to faith and honor still;
To do my best, and let that stand
The record of my brain and hand;
And then, should failure come to me,
Still work and hope for victory.

To have no secret place wherein,
I stoop unseen to shame or sin;
To be the same when I'm alone,
As when my every deed is known;
To live undaunted, unafraid
Of any step that I have made;
To be without pretense or shame,
Exactly what men think I am.

To leave some simple mark behind
To keep my having lived in mind;
If enmity to aught I show,
To be an honest, generous foe,
To play my little part, nor whine
That greater honors are not mine.
This, I believe, is all I need
For my philosophy and creed.

My commandments of Life

1. Listening is one of the important human traits, one should definitely cultivate. So, is Silence.

2. Nothing in this world is really wrong.But, this is arguable. Depends on what sense one takes it.But, if not taken in a literal sense, "Nothing in this world is really wrong". To use my fav phrase, "Anything under the sky".. :)

3.Everyone in this world crave for love(note the word Crave). To be Loved is one of the main goals, people have in life.

4. If someone has had a better life(even a single better day) cos of u, then ur life has already served its purpose. You have already succeeded in life. What we are presently doing is increasing the margin of success.

5. Love individuals.But, dont stop with that. Love Humanity as a whole. It's difficult in the start.But,pays rich dividends.When you ve learnt to love the humanity as a single entity, you will attain bliss

6. All emotions can be controlled.You can live life the way you want it to or the natural way.Choose wisely between what you can do and what you want to do.

7. Dont try to be someone whom everyone will love. You cant.Even Christ wasn't so able. Instead, be someone who can love everyone.If not always, at least mostly. If not equally, at least comparatively. Then, You will start loving yourself. though We crave for love, that craving should not prevent us from loving others. In simple words, do not love others so that they may love you back, love them, anyway

8. Things like negative Thinking, Inferiority Complex, Possessiveness, Ego,Superiority Complex,Selfishness are like hurdles in a running race. More Keep Coming and you keep jumping. You cant miss them.None in the race, can.

9. Movies n Music have taught me well n made me what i am. Books to some extent too. They are greatest teachers of life.

10. Relationship is like a roof held by two Pillars. Pillars are close enough to hold the roof, but each pillar has its own space.

11. When dealing with yourself, use your mind.While Dealing with Others, use ur heart.

12.Being Indifferent, protects you from Outside.But, does not preserves you from inside.

And My 3 Most important lessons

1. Whatever the reason be, one shud always be happy. ALWAYS.

2. Serving Others is the way to Salvation n Inner Peace

3. If you really want to learn life, learn abt death. That Death is inevitable is the essence of life.

I will Keep adding...... :)

Ouf..Start Again?

No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head. ~Terry Josephson

I am supposed to be God’s greatest Creation.. A rational being, full of energy and knowledge, powered by wisdom and ‘rational thinking’. I am superior to all other species with my ability to analyse, infer,decide, feel, .. so on and on… Armed with the ultimate ‘sixth sense’, here I go to conquer the world ..

Sounds like some old Nazi movie????? Well, this perfectly reflects one of my favorite thoughts.. “Are we supposed to think? Do we need to get mature over time? Does thinking helps us in leading a successful(no no .. make it ‘happy’.. cos I cant define wat’s a success.. come to speak of it, I cant define happy too.. sounds crap right??) life or is it actually a barrier preventing us from doing so? Are we limited by our “sixth sense”?

Wat do u think? Should we think? Does it do good to us to think? Hmmm…

I think I was better off when I was a child.. I was considered “immature” in worldly terms.. Ya.. lil stupid…But,it was good.. who cared about right n wrong? Doing wat I wanted to do and not wat I supposed to do…

And then some wise ppl came… full of quotes, advices, moral Stories, philosophy, wisdom, , , …… I was educated about positive thinking, maturity, dreams, goals, aspirations, hard work, humanity, knowledge…crap.. And I fell for it… I thought “ Here is a new world.. I have a vision.. Let me have dreams n start working towards them.. It feels sooooooooo gud.. I ve to make myself lil more mature.. should go to the next level of thinking”..

Come to think of it now, I wonder why I wanted to be mature.. May be the word maturity sounded lil fascinating to me.. “Mature ppl are awesome…it’s cool to be mature…” Damn.. The whole world kidded to me and I was on my way to find maturity and wisdom..

One might argue that without maturity,I wud ve remained stupid n wud ve never realized life.. I ask, “so wat??”.. I wud ve been ignorant of something called maturity and so the lack of maturity wud nt ve affected me.. ignorance is a greatest bliss, according to me.. so, hw I can be sad of something which I am ignorant of?

Back to where I left, I focused all my thoughts on this ‘wisdom’ crap.. I thought I was going good…gaining wisdom rapidly, growing rapidly…ya.it was cool to be wise… after so much hardship, I was considerably wise(or thought I was) and mature and rational.. I started reasoning out everything n my life went gud.. and I was amazed by the way my mind can think….

Every1 have their dawn of realization, right? Well, I was not an exception.. you have heard this one? “The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.”.. Well, this was from Bernard shaw.. btw,when u find some time, read shaw’s works…

So, someday it occurred to me that I was not wrong abt anything… when I see from one perspective, it was right. When I see from other, it was wrong. From yet another one, I was clueless whether it was right or wrong.. So, damn, I was just changing my perpectives from time to time.. Maturity made me think “Live for others”.But, I can also say “Live for oneself”.. both are right.. so, I had endured all pain trying to achieve righteousness, when no such thing existed…

In the process of growing mature, my thoughts have grown from simple to complex to more complex.. in order to deal my life effectively, I go to next level of maturity ..ya..now my problems are gone.. but, at that level of maturity, the problems are create are more complex and so I go to next higher level to deal with them n so on.. I ve been trying to climb a ladder, just for the heck of climbing it.. I may, very well, not had climbed it at all…

So, the only thing I ve learnt in all these years is that there is no need to grow mature n wise.. But, in order to realize that, I ve grown mature n wise.. sounds stupid? All the beliefs I started believing in my path to maturity now look back @ me n mock…Now to think of it, I believe in all beliefs.. u say sumthin, I believe. But, I also believe the contracdictory..so, ultimately, u can take that I believe that there is no belief..or that I believe in all beliefs.. so,the hardship I underwent to from the beliefs in the first place is a waste of time…

So, wat next? I shud try not to reason out.. I should reason out not to reason out..but, that’s reasoning out..so, this becomes kind of vicious cycle..”Reason out Not to reason out”…”Think not to think”….hmmm…. damn..

Well, tht brings us to the quote @ the start of this blog.. We are all confined within our heads.. we try to break the confinements by increasing our wisdom n mature thinking..but, in the process we increase the confinements n so the wheel rotates…

If someday asks me “give me all ur knowledge n maturity n wisdom n I’ll give u ignorance, I’ll go 4 the exchange”.. cos this maturity has only shown me how ignorant I am…

If u think this blog is a piece of bull shit, well, I very much envy u … cos u are able to form a opinion, which I am nt able to..

Ps: I really think Neo should have taken the other pill…

But, well, then, we wud ve not gotten such fighting sequences,may be..

Ps:This being my first try on blogs, any comments, i really mean annnnyyyyyyy, are utmost welcome.....

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. ~Bertrand Russell